The Choice Between Carrying the Universe or Be Crushed By It

Being an empath is both a blessing and a curse. First of all, it is a great feeling to know that you are an emphatic person. It means that you have a certain level of understanding about the people surrounding you. You exert effort to get to know where they are coming from and put yourself on their shoes to get an explanation of why they do or say certain things. However, it also carries a series of negative consequences in your life. Since you have too much empathy for others, you tend to pour your emotions out for them. Such a feeling can be chaotic — a beautiful mess.

In my case, it feels good to have empathy for almost everyone who matters in my life.

But, it can also be draining. I feel tired of feeling too much when it doesn’t even concern me at all.

Today, I received a series of bad news from my friends through Facebook Messenger groups. It sucks to find out about the sad news through a virtual platform. I miss the times when I could actually meet up with them, talk about important stuff, and drink our hearts out as we discuss adulting problems. All those moments have become a distant memory due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

I know I’m just supposed to take the news as it is. The “emphatic me” thought otherwise.

Instead, I let the bad news make me feel down. I wanted to break down in tears, and yes, I gave in. It was somehow comforting to cry non-stop for close to fifteen minutes. Then, I ended up laughing at my crazy self because I realized that I’m kinda too emotional to have such a reaction. How can someone’s problems affect me that much? How can someone’s suffering make me feel like I need to do something to take it away? It’s really exhausting to be an empath. I feel like I’m responsible for saving someone out of misery.

Indeed, it’s a blessing and a curse.

Also read: Today Feels Different And It’s Okay

The question now is: Do I want to stop being empathic? My answer is NO. I don’t want to change this part of myself. I have been an empath for such a long time, and I was able to survive all those times when I get too attached to other people’s mess. It may be because I’m too poetic or addicted to anything that drains my emotions. The truth is that I really don’t know why I feel this way. What matters at this point is that I have this constant inclination to the need of helping, listening, and assisting other people in dealing with little and big tragedies. It may be draining, but it is also satisfying.

I’ll leave you with this powerful quote from Andrew Boyd (Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe):

“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”

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