The Day I Remembered Why I Started Blogging

For some reason, I find it exciting to go on my laptop and not worry about my law practice-related deadlines or work. Instead, I open my laptop, go to my Notes App and just start writing down as thoughts race through my mind. This is what I missed. I actually missed being able to write anything that comes to my mind. A part of me died when I became a lawyer and when COVID-19 happened. I became fearful since I knew that I’ve got something to lose this time. I cannot just publish anything that I want to talk about, as I have to be sensitive to how I share my thoughts or that I am fully aware that no one really likes to read about my personal experiences.

Today, I was reminded why I started a blog in the first place. Gosh, I was even still in high school when I started doing this. The main reason was for me to have a platform where I can experience the freedom of writing what I think and feel. Back then, I was writing without thinking about the readers who will come across my posts. I was just a teenage girl who wanted to entertain whatever sort of emotions and thoughts that I had. I want to find that teenage girl and wake her up. That teenage girl in me needs to come out of the shell. 

Hence, you can expect more posts and updates from me in the coming weeks. I will not have a schedule on when I will publish the post, but I swear I will keep this blog up and running again. I have to feel free once again. I want to consider my blog as my digital journal, where I publish all the crazy stories and unforgettable experiences of my day-to-day life. They may not mean a thing to my readers, but trust me that this blog means my sanity. I have to keep this up so I can start to work on my topsy-turvy mind. I need to do this so I can eliminate unwanted thoughts and focus on those that truly matter.

Today is a Saturday, and it’s 5:04 PM. I am supposed to be at my friend’s birthday party dinner at 6:00 PM and another party with my fellow digital influencers by 8:00 PM. Let’s backtrack for a little while. I woke up at around 9:00 AM, and since then, I’ve done nothing but watch Grey’s Anatomy and order random stuff from at least four places in FoodPanda. Yes, I did that. The weird thing about me is that I can’t seem to choose what I want, or it’s hard for me to make a decision. I’m indecisive. So, when I place one order of pizza earlier, I thought to myself, “What if I made the wrong choice? What if I won’t like it?” Guess what? I went to a local fast-food chain on the food delivery app and ordered another meal. Thereafter, even before my previous two orders arrived, I placed another order of corn dog from a local Korean street food place. Here’s the confession: I didn’t like any of them. Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for having food on the table, but I have to be honest with myself. They tasted okay, but they weren’t exactly what I wanted. So, I ordered an iced coffee drink from an unfamiliar restaurant in FoodPanda. When I had it, all I could think about was it’s good that my drink was extra-cold, but the taste could have been better.

Oh, so why am I writing all these down again? The answer is simple. I want to write. I just want to be on my laptop and come up with a post. I hope one day, I will re-read this article and smile. Smile, either because my situation is still the same or because I have become a different person. Maybe one day, when I open this blog post again, I will realize that I have become better at making choices when it comes to ordering food or that I have learned how to cook, so I no longer need to place an order again. Just like what I said yesterday, when that day comes, I hope I’ll be in a much better place and that I will be happier.

Okay, it looks like I need to get ready now. It’s 5:12. Oh, but before I do, I want to say I wrote this blog post while I was cooling down after a quick run on the treadmill. Yeah, I hope I’ll fully get back to working out again.